MOVE ON...

  A lot of times, we ourselves in our relationships or others' witness minute triggers escalating into full blown volcanoes. Why and how does that happen and how to identify that? How to de-escalate it? 1. One who is already stressed is bound to respond in an angry manner to seemingly non- provocative comments. Check out with that person if he is not feeling alright and if a later date might be a better opportunity  to discuss it. If that person is still not able to handle it right, politely refuse to engage and leave the situation.  2. One that has been resenting a particular behaviour in you for long, but unable to vocalise it, breaks out loud for an unprovocative comment because it resembles somehow those comments you might have passed previously. In such a scenario, it is better to wait until that person settles down, ask what you have done that intrigued him or her and listen, trying to understand. The human behaviour is so complicated that there are no binary respon...

  Greetings. Often we get stuck in a rut and we find it difficult to tackle when someone yells at us. It becomes a vicious cycle. Whatever relationship it is, yelling incites a vicious cycle and builds resentment and in turn more yelling at the apparent indifference to repeated shouting at. Let us get to the bottom of the yelling behaviour later. Before that, one has to protect onself from the damage that repeating yelling causes to one's body and mind.  Yelling as a mode of defence creates a fear and drives the victim into a freeze mode. One stops thinking and feeling as absorbing the hurtful words creates more havoc and the only way to stop this is to stop functioning. FREEZE!! It is painful to exist in that mode often but it is the only way to protect the sanity at times.  Yelling causes the weaker ones to feel guilty and worthless , thereby losing self- esteem, hopeless and helpless and drives the person into a depressed state. They feel tired more often, experience m...